Say “Oh ya, you told me that one before”.  Say nothing?

I alternate.  I occaisonally point out that they’ve said it before.  A friend of mine did that today and I said nothing and just nodded.

I think the problem is that I feel rude either way.  If you say something, it’s like saying that you don’t want to hear their story again and a not-so-subtle indicator that they obviously don’t remember their conversations with you .  And if you don’t say anything and act surprised/sad/laugh, then it’s a lie.

Does whether or not you say something make a difference if:

- you’re chatting with a group of people or it’s just you and your friend?

- it’s a long or short story?

- it’s funny or sad (maybe you don’t want them to have to go through the tragic details again)?

But in the end….a true friend is supposed to understand either way, right?

However, no rage today, just a link to a really wonderful article from the New York Times.  Any liberal arts people out there?  You’ll like this article.  It’s so validating.  Any anti-liberal arts people out there?  You need to read this article. Nay, I require you to read this article.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/10/11/the-crisis-of-the-humanities-officially-arrives/?src=me&ref=general

It’s no secret that we are facing a shortage of many things in our society… to name them all would take forever.  But I was thinking about the money problem in particular.  And to be more specific, the federal deficit and debts that all kinds of provincial and municipal governments take on.  Is there a way to fix this which doesn’t involve slashing spending and raising taxes?

So I got thinking and have something like a pipe-solution in an every-little-bit-helps kind of way.  You’ve heard about civil disobedience?  I’m a big fan of civil disobedience and have been since my graduation ceremony from university.  We had an authoress as our guest speaker and I LOVED her speech.  It was about civil disobedience.  But not crazy extremist civil disobedience.  She used Nelson Mandela’s experience in prison as an example – apparently, they had to change the guards quite regularly since Mandela would talk to them and win them over to his way of thinking.  It’s lovely and it was the best possible speech for graduating students going off to take over the world (big regret in my life:  I don’t remember what her name is).

But then I started thinking about all the crap that we do to each other and how sometimes, civil obedience would be really great.  Oh…good sense.  Good old common sense.  We could do with more than that.

You know what uses precious federal, provincial and municipal money?  Cleaning up our messes!  How many people:

(a)    Don’t have any business sense and blindly get themselves in silly, shady business deals and as a result, are using the court and legal system to get their money back?

(b)   Are driving (and biking) carelessly and getting themselves in collisions (uses police and ICBC claims agents) and sending people to hospital (entire healthcare system)?

(c)    Are pulling really stupid and dangerous stunts (while drunk or sober) and needing medical attention of paramedics and the healthcare system?

(d)   Are stupid criminals and use unimaginable resources to undo the damage they cause (judicial system, law enforcement, health care, prison system, etc.)?

(e)   Are going to bed with cigarettes lit and starting fires?

(f)     Use the healthcare system because they have preventable medical problems?

(g)   Are biking around without helmets???

And that’s what I can come up with off the top of my head.  What if we all took it upon ourselves to stop being idiots if only to save our governments some money?  I think that “saving the government money” has to be at the top of the worst reasons for being a good citizen, but maybe that works for some people.

Leaving aside practical arguments like how could we possibly bring a policy of “good citizenry” into any kind of effect (I did call this a pipe-solution… like pipe-dream.  Get it?), this idea is pretty good.  It’s a small way for everyone to make sure that we aren’t stretching our community resources to the point where they’re ineffective and need more funding.

We drive safer, more defensively.  We eat better, exercise more.  We wear sunscreen and avoid tanning beds and cigarettes.  We wear helmets as required, and stop taking chances with our lives.  Drink responsibly.  We inform ourselves about risks and benefits and make sound decisions (this may require some overall character building on behalf of us citizens).  We refrain from criminal activity.  We stop littering.  And we recycle, just for the heck of it.

Just a thought.  It’s fair, right to make such a suggestion as a way to help alleviate the money woes across the country?  Unorthodox…completely unrealistic…

But I dream… in pipes…

Is making fun of kids smashing society’s last taboo?  Everything else is pretty fair game…and as far as I know, this outcrop of kids-are-annoying movies only started a few years ago.  Although, Homer has been choking Bart for over a decade…

Why is it funny when vulnerable, impressionable children are paired up with totally unfit adults?  Why is it amusing that the adult treats the kid poorly, only for the kid to have some profound effect on the adult later in the film?

I don’t get it and I don’t like it.

Oh, I just thought of Lemony Snicket.  In the movie version, three really good kids are paired with a completely crazy uncle and at the end of the movie, there’s some questionable tendency towards incest.  Gross.  Not amusing, not entertaining.

It makes me so upset that I can’t think of a pithy way to tie this all together with the title “Nuisance children”.

What a nuisance.

There was an exciting article on the New York Times website which explains some recent developments in the question of why there is matter in this world and we all exist when our universe could have just as easily been anti-matter.

They have some theories about what is going on with all those wonder-particles and what seems to be the case, is that these particles have a tendency towards matter and there is a slight tendency for particles to “choose” being matter over anti-matter.

So…the universe exists because particles have a tendency towards matter?

That’s helpful, but doesn’t go very far in getting to the heart of the question.  But this discovery is important, of course.  Many more discoveries like this may lead us very close to the answer.

So why does matter exist?  Why is there a physical (electrical?) tendency for the universe to have matter?

When I was in my first year of university as a young philosophy major, I nervously attended my first meeting of the Philosophy Society.  Topic for the day:   Why do we exist?  It blew my mind.  I had no idea that people, much less a bunch of undergraduate students in rural Nova Scotia, were sitting around debating this.  I was hooked on philosophy after that.  I like hearing that physicists are working on this kind of thing.  It’s comforting to know that hardcore scientists are interested in the same questions and are actually going after the answer.

I have no idea why matter exists.  I could make some kind of argument about how something that is a universe necessarily must contain matter, but then we could just ask why does a universe exist?

Maybe there are plenty of pockets of antimatter in the vast vast universe….actually, cosmos, I think is a most appropriate word.  I never thought I’d say this, but “universe” seems too narrow in scope.  And antimatter exists just as often, or almost as often as matter, and since we can only exist where there is matter, all we see is a universe or cosmos full of matter.  So we don’t have to exist, the universe doesn’t have to exist.  Our existence is simply part of a natural force of opposites and random sorting of particles.  Matter, and our universe, happens just as often (or slightly more often) than antimatter. Is every universe a pocket of matter?  Are black holes like antimatter?

Is there any chance that these particles that oscillate between matter and antimatter (neutral B-mesons) are influenced by surrounding particles?  For example, it seems like it would be impossible for antimatter particles to exist in our universe, which is very matter-like.  But if these particles are oscillating, then presumably at some point, there was antimatter next to matter. So how did those antimatter particles get squeezed out?  Did they switch the matter and then find that they like the company, so they stayed that way?  Did the particles which had already “decided” on matter have some kind of chemical or electric influence over the other antimatter/”undecided” particles?   Maybe these questions aren’t relevant at all.

If there is a tendency towards matter, there must be something about matter that is “better” than antimatter.  Why isn’t it 50/50 matter and antimatter?  Do these particles have some kind of a force which drives them to “be”?  They must.

I always like to look for microcosms…. everything we know about on earth, the majority of people and animals and plants have a drive to “be” or they are moving in a direction forward.  I believe Aquinas was the first proponent of this.  Maybe neutral B-mesons have the same drive?  Where did it come from?  Aquinas says God.  I don’t like that answer, but the only other answer I can come up with is Hegel’s Spirit that is continually driving forward to discover itself.

I get so tickled when I think about all this…I should go get some tea to calm myself down.

You know those lights you can get which are actually for “light therapy” and help people with seasonal affective disorder?

They should adapt computer monitors so that they have the same effect.  Have an on/off switch.  Dimmers.

If people are sitting in front of their computer all day and it’s already a glowing rectangle, let’s get some therapy out of it.

If anyone wants to make one of these and sell it…I get 10%.

Busy woman’s trademark.  STAMP.

He looked away and now

Our eyes looked in different places -

Watched the others’ faces.

There was nothing to be said.

Only water rushed to a trickle

Down pipes and the bathtub drain

Tinkled as the pipes shook.

Where are we now?

How did we get here?

When did he say his last words?  I should remember but

I can’t.

We created us

From nothing but energy.

We built us up to a mountain and now

In the silence, we crumble.

Back to nothing?  Maybe.

We are nothing, but I am more and he is more.

But there is nothing.

By the way…people are starting to wise up to the fake Speidi separation.  I think it’s TMZ that’s putting together the pieces….so… you heard it here first.

Moving on…

When I was little and couldn’t fall asleep, I used this “method”  (I use quotes because I had no idea it was a method) to fall asleep.  The concept isn’t new, that is, progressive relaxation, but this has always worked for me (I’ve never actually “finished” or worked my way though the method entirely, because I’m always asleep before the end of it) and might be good for kids.

I remember reading this book wayyyy back in the day on the human body (I have no idea how old I was) and I saw this picture of how an arm moves – with muscles.  It was for kids, so the book had these little men “moving” the arm.  Presumably, they were acting as the muscle.  I can remember how that picture would flash in my mind and I suppose I thought of it one night when I couldn’t sleep.  This is what I did with it.

Preamble:

Before you start – it may be helpful to think about how you view your body.  How much do you know about anatomy?  This method doesn’t make any effort to be anatomically correct, and I don’t want people being unable to fall asleep simply because they’re annoyed at how we’re “skipping over” parts.   That being said, you can make it as anatomically correct as you like, as long as it isn’t distracting you (as in, don’t spend too much time and energy concentrating on every little detail).  This is supposed to be relaxing so if you’re concentrating too hard or trying to remember where the sternocleidomastoid is, then you’re doing too much.  Chill.

Stage 1:

So you’re in bed, and you can’t sleep  and want to try the Tessa Method.  It begins with relaxing every part of you.  This isn’t “systematic” relaxation yet, so just make sure that you’re comfortable, relaxed, breathing easily and you’ve itched all your itches (it really kills the mood when you have to scratch your nose).  Now is a good time to flip the pillow over (the cool side!) and think about sinking into your pillow and the bed.  I am regularly a side-sleeper, but when I do this, I stay on my back.  Be sure that you are breathing as regularly and deeply as possible.  I believe that a big part of why this method works is exactly because of how relaxed one must make him or herself before beginning it. 

Stage 2:

Imagine you have little men in your body working every muscle.  I add a few more to help with the joints too.  This is why I added the preamble – you add as many men (or women!) as you like to your body.  There isn’t a set number, but I like to add more for bigger muscles.  For example, each toe doesn’t have more than two little men inside and my calf muscle has maybe three or four men.

Think about what the men look like.  They have to be small and it would be best if they all look the same.   Mine alternate between being doctors and construction workers.  The doctors have white coats and little medicine bags and the construction workers have coveralls, hard hats and tool boxes.  I guess they’re kind of like oompa-loopas or dwarves or elves.  Figure out what works for you, but make sure you aren’t giggling.  Maybe you want good-looking doctors, and that’s ok, but it shouldn’t distract you.  If you want, take some time out for fantasy-land and then come back to your oompa loopas.  But you shouldn’t really be thinking too hard about each little man.  All my guys are older men and some have grey beards. 

These little men have been working all day, moving your muscles and joints, repairing your body and helping you do what you need to do and get where you need to be.  They are very good to you and just like you, they’re tired at the end of the day.

Stage 3:

Send those men off to a good night’s sleep!  I start with my little toe on my right foot.  There’s one guy in that toe.  I picture him packing up his supplies and his tools and going to bed.  His bed is right beside where he has been working (no need to send him on a journey to a bed in your other toe or something).  He gets into bed, is comfortable, and goes to sleep.  Next toe, next man.  Maybe only one guy in my next toe, and I send him off to sleep.  When I get to my calf, I start with the guy closest to my ankle, put him to bed, and move on to the next guy up.  

Make sure you watch each guy stop working (if you need more context – think of him saying to himself “Ah, now that’s a good day’s work” and giving a little stretch).  Watch him pack up his tool box or medicine bag, maybe quickly change into pajamas and then get into bed and close his eyes.  And then move on to the next guy and do it all over again.

Some notes:

Go from your toes to your head.  You might want to do all your toes first and then do both calves and then both knees, etc or you might want to do one leg at a time.  Go slowly.  It isn’t a race to get all the little guys to bed.  Running out of little men to put to sleep?  Add more guys to your arm muscles, or maybe imagine some men working in your stomach and kidneys, etc.  

I’ve only once made it to my arms and have never completely finished this exercise.  I don’t do it all that often; for me it’s a last resort kind of thing because I like letting my mind wander when I go to bed.  But when I was a kid, I was very sensitive to scary movies (I still am), was prone to imagine fire trucks and ambulances and my house on fire (I used to go to sleep thinking about how to escape if there was a fire) and I had a good dose of paranoia about home invasions (also used to think about how to defend myself if there was an intruder in my room…I actually still do this).  However, I think the slow, steady, relaxed and friendly visual images help the mind focus and don’t distract it too much.  Always one little guy at a time. 

Hopefully this helps someone or a little kid who has trouble falling asleep.

And until I am a fabulous writer with a book deal, this is trademarked as the Tessa Method and anyone who wants to market this without asking me (you can send me a comment to ask permission) or plagiarize this or use it for anything beyond personal use is subject to my wrath and those of my future copyright lawyer.  STAMP.

So she moves in with this girl, who presumably is single and they all go out to clubs and get into mischief and oh no!  Heidi meets a boy! She likes this boy, but should she be unfaithful to Spencer?  They aren’t technically divorced, but she milks the “he isolated me” front and what a bad guy he is.  Tension builds.  Will she call him?  Will she kiss him?  And the roommate encourages Heidi to explore her options! They have parties and Heidi has awkward moments with this boy!  Eeep!

Episode before season finale – she tells Spencer that she likes this guy.

Season Finale – Heidi makes her own ultimatum or Spencer gives her one – is it gonna be that guy or your husband?

She chooses her husband because she sees the light and she’s Catholic or something so she doesn’t believe in infidelity or divorce anyway and she realizes that the new guy is a douche.  She realises that he was just protecting her and that’s how he shows her that he loves her.  She says she loves him and they move back into their love nest together while saying a very dramatic tearful goodbye to the other girl.

And can they just live happily ever after and leave us all in peace?

I was reading this article on the NYTimes website….http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/28/health/policy/28ultrasound.html?hp

Seriously?!  This is what states are making women go through so that they can guilt a woman into having a baby?  This is crazy.

I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago and he said something really insightful.  Instead of focusing on this pre-abortion sonogram nonsense….what if we look at all the ways society makes it difficult for a woman to have a baby?

This article uses Laura as an example.  Laura is 36 yrs old and divorced.  What if it wasn’t so difficult for Laura to raise a child as a single mom?  What if Laura knew that there is governmentally regulated, safe and inexpensive, subsidized, or free child care that won’t bankrupt her?  What if she didn’t have to worry about her job security when she tells her boss about going on maternity leave?  And….what about when her kid is sick?  She doesn’t have a partner who she can alternate with, so how will her boss make her feel when she has to take days off to be with her sick kid and days off when she herself is sick too?  What if she didn’t have to worry about people judging her because she’s divorced and pregnant?  She might not think an abortion is the only way out, right?

Let me be clear – I am not saying that this woman should have her baby or that women in general should not get abortions.  I am very pro-choice.  What I am saying is that (mandatory and unwanted) pre-abortion sonograms are probably the most inconsiderate and lazy way for the pro-life movement to push its agenda.

They say that Laura is pregnant for a reason?  They say that she shouldn’t have been having sex?  They say her method of birth control failed for a reason?

Well, you know what?  Abortion technology exists for a reason.  Maybe there is a reason why she was having sex and maybe her partner was an idiot and lied to her about wearing a condom.  Is someone going to tell me that this idiot is doing god’s work?

I’m going to continue because this is my blog and such is the freedom of this anonymous outlet.  Our very dear Morgentaler in Canada exists for a reason.   Pro-life religious folks like to harp on the reasons for everything and conveniently leave out acknowledging that abortions exist for a reason.

Further, I believe that if a woman is preparing for pregnancy or pregnant and planning to have the baby, she has a responsibility to be healthy.  I believe that she has a responsibility to take her vitamins, eat fruits and vegetables, exercise and be as stress free as possible.  There’s enough crap in the world and a baby shouldn’t have to develop in crap before it gets into the real world and has to deal with the crap.  If a woman does not have the money for pre-natal vitamins (someone has to buy those, yknow) or  fruits and vegetables or doesn’t have time to make herself nutritious meals because she’s trying to focus on her career (and she probably isn’t making as much money as a man who is doing the exact same job) or doesn’t have time to exercise and is under a lot of stress… I don’t think she should have a baby.  Every baby deserves the best possible start in life.  Why aren’t pro-lifers more concerned about that?  I guess they’re not interested in quality of life.  Oh yes, that reminds me.  These are the same people who are anti-euthanasia.

Alas…euthanasia is another blog post for another day when I encounter gross injustice.

And I would just like to add something else.  I can’t speak for all pro-choicers, but I just want to say that abortions are a big deal.  Just because I’m pro-choice doesn’t mean I think that women should be free to practice unsafe sex and have abortions willy-nilly.  It is a very serious decision and should not be taken lightly.  But I do believe that it is a decision and a choice.